Sharing Footprints

This is for young women, starting their journey into womanhood, away from whispering girlfriends, deciding on hairdos, and unsure of situations with unreal expectations.

I made a list of situations, without expectations. A list for thought, including forewarning. It is incomplete, it is the bones without the meat. A sample put together to meet a deadline for the Sunshine Scribblers writing group.

Practical things. Earn money, get an education, learn to cook well, travel, sleep well, learn to love. Find a teacher, find a mentor, seek advice, learn from your mother. Connect with your siblings, find an interest, learn to let go of minutiae.

Cultural things. Find a good man. Marry, have children, enjoy your family. Or collect boyfriends, start a sisterhood, travel. Learn the art of team playing. Discover a likeable interest, an interest you love, and not the vice-versa. Learn poetry, read the classics, find your bliss. Move your body with dance, like Martha Graham or Judith Jamison. Listen to the song in the poem. Get a massage.

Inward things. Learn to love, to forgive, to play, to relax. Learn to like yourself, your teammate, and your children. Learn to appreciate, to retain what is useful from your learning, and to flush the unnecessary from your mind. Learn gratefulness, kindness, and a sense of justice. Learn to stop and reflect, pause and continue, learn to say yes and no. Talk to your body, ask in the morning if it slept well, listen to the answer and trust what it says. Remember Sarah, Rivka, Ruth, and Leah. And dream of travel.

Emotional Intelligence things. Laugh, cry, sigh, breath. Make funny faces in the mirror, hug your child, hug your hon, honor your parents with gratitude. Have friends, they lift you up and cushion your downs. Master your emotions. Learn to listen to the trees, the storms, and the oceans. Learn to see the colors of the wind. Learn to smell the grass, the flowers, the scented candle, and the air we breathe. Touch your loved ones, touch the bark of a tree, touch the smoothness of your own skin. Learn to accept your lack of total control but do your best. Light the candles, say Tehillim, learn from the past, and wait eagerly for the future. Do what you must in the present.

Reality check things. A lengthy list of unfortunate negative swirling positions. A slight, a hurt, a slur, an insult. Discord, impatience, tiredness, frustration. Taking crap, swallowing negativity, internal scabs healing slowly. Lost perspective, ignorance, getting off track. This list can dig its own hole.

Intimate things. Learn intimacy, a look, a touch, a mindful connection. Feel attractive, create your scent, take care of your body. Give and take, communicate. Learn the benefit of the doubt, teaching your teammate and learning from him, and together create. Travel, make memories, laugh and cry, kiss and cuddle. Procreate. Take the lint off his jacket and let him take the leaf from your hair. Play together, share together, enjoy moments together. Intimacy is a gift, personal and private, difficult to explain, but well-worth learning.

In conclusion, nothing is new under the sun. It takes looking and listening to the wrinkled creatures walking around, more than willing to share. Not with absolute answers, but definitely with perspective. Good luck young women following the footprints of the older women before you.